Last week I had an appointment with a gentleman who was interested in a reverse mortgage. In fact, all indications were that he was going to take very little convincing. His wife had a debilitating stroke 7 months ago, and has been hospitalized ever since. She is unable to speak and her hands are permanently clenched. There is no hope for recovery. In essence, he’s waiting for her to pass, which may literally happen any time.
There is no question that he can benefit from tapping into the equity in his home, which he owns outright. However, when talking with him, he said that when his wife dies, he is going to sell the home and move to Tahiti where he owns property. He has very poor eyesight, and must depend on someone else to even drive him to the grocery store…or anywhere else. He said in Tahiti, he can get around by boat or taxi without any problems.
To be perfectly honest, I could have written a loan that day with little effort. However, I felt duty-bound to inform him that if he did not intend to live in the home for at least 4 or 5 years and he had no urgent need for the money, I would recommend holding off. He would have had about $13,000 in closing costs which would begin accruing interest from the day the loan funded. He may be selling the home within the year and not even use the money available to him within that time. I advised him that it may not make sense to pay $13,000 for something he didn’t truly need, which would only reduce how much money he would get when he sells the home in the not-too-distant future.
He agreed.
Once we moved off the topic of reverse mortgage, in a moment of transparency, he admitted he was lonely. This was the point that I knew it was time to take off the “business” hat and be his friend. He showed me around his home, telling me the stories of his travels across the United States and Europe. He shared stories from his days in the U.S. Navy during World War II. He also shared touching memories of his wife of nearly 60 years.
In parting, I told him that I hope his future works out exactly as he has planned. I mean, who wouldn’t want to live in Tahiti? But I also told him that if his circumstances change, a reverse mortgage will always be available to him. He told me of his friends who cautioned him to be wary that I might try to push him into getting a reverse mortgage and not educate him on what he would be signing. The look on his face and peace in his voice as he reached out and shook my hand and told me how much he appreciated my honesty and integrity in advising him to wait was more meaningful to me than a paycheck. It was then that I realized that I didn’t become his friend when the business portion of our conversation was over. I had become his friend during the business discussion.
The media and those with an ax to grind like to warn people of the “dangers” of reverse mortgages and unscrupulous, greedy professionals. I hope this story proves to you that there are many of us who sincerely put the senior first. This story is not about me. It’s about a man who has been grieving for 7 very long months. Nobody wants him to become a statistic and more fuel to the media fire of negativity.
